Nairobi: What's the time and why should I care?

Nairobi's Not-So-Glamorous Reality Check: When Embassies Can't Afford Rent

Okay, so South Sudan's embassy in Nairobi got padlocked. Like, a landlord showed up and said, "Pay up or get out." You can't make this stuff up.

Embassy staff, whispering to Radio Tamazuj 'cause they're probably afraid of getting fired, say the government hasn't paid rent in almost a year. $9,000 a month? That's it? Seriously? You'd think keeping your diplomatic presence in a strategic country like Kenya would be, I don't know, a priority. According to South Sudan’s Nairobi embassy closes due to unpaid rent, the embassy closed due to failure to pay rent.

Diplomatic Disaster or Predictable Failure?

Edmund Yakani, some civil society dude, calls it "disturbing, discouraging, and embarrassing." Yeah, no kidding. But let's be real, is anyone actually surprised? South Sudan's been struggling since… well, since forever. Civil war, corruption, weak institutions—it's a freakin' checklist of disaster.

And Apuk Ayuel, spokesperson for South Sudan’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs, couldn't be reached for comment. Shocker.

Then there's this little gem from September: the Ministry of Foreign Affairs is "working to downsize staff at its embassies and consulates worldwide to cut operational costs." Downsize? More like "eliminate any semblance of competence."

I mean, what does it say when your government is so broke that it can't even keep the lights on in its own embassies? It's like running a lemonade stand and then getting evicted from your own driveway. I guess the "time in Nairobi" is tough when you're locked out.

Art Auctions and Collapsed Officials: A Nairobi Collage

Meanwhile, in other news from Nairobi, art lovers are dropping $30 million a night at auctions. Thirty. Million. Dollars. For paintings. While the South Sudanese embassy is getting the eviction notice. Talk about priorities, huh? I am not saying that I am against art, but how can a country allow its embassy to be locked, but they can spend $30 million on art? According to Art lovers spend Sh30m a night at Nairobi auction, Nairobi is a hot spot for art auctions.

And then there's Geoffrey Mosiria, a Nairobi County official, who apparently collapsed and got hospitalized after finding out he might go to jail for contempt of court. Contempt of court! For defying a court order about developing areas of Parklands. You know, I am just thinking out loud here, but maybe you should not defy a court order. Just saying.

The lawyer claims Mosiria didn't even know about the case. Right. And I'm the Queen of England.

It's all just a big, steaming pile of incompetence and corruption. A clown show, really.

The Bigger Picture: Is Anyone in Charge?

South Sudan relies on oil for 90% of its revenue. Ninety freakin' percent! What happens when the oil dries up? Or when the price crashes? Do they have a plan B? Offcourse not.

And let's not forget the BAPS thing – some religious group holding a drug prevention summit in Nairobi. Good for them, I guess. "Drug Prevention Without Borders – Leave No One Behind." Sounds nice, but does it actually do anything? I mean, are addicts going to suddenly turn their lives around because some Swami gave a keynote address? I'm skeptical.

But wait, are we really supposed to believe that moral values and spirituality are the solution to addiction? I mean, I am not against spirituality, but it seems a little bit simplistic.

So, What's the Real Story?

Look, this isn't just about an embassy getting shut down. It's about a country teetering on the brink, a government that can't manage its finances, and a whole lot of people pretending everything is fine. It ain't fine. It's a disaster waiting to happen. And honestly, I'm not sure anyone gives a damn.