Rocket Launch Today: What Happened and Why You Should Care
SpaceX's Starlink Doubleheader: Are We Officially Living in a Sci-Fi Dystopia Now?
Okay, let's be real: another SpaceX launch? Yawn. But two in one night? That's not progress; that's an infestation. They're slinging 29 more Starlink satellites into orbit, adding to the already overcrowded skies. Are we just gonna sit here and pretend this isn't turning into some Black Mirror episode?
I mean, seriously, doesn't anyone else remember looking up at the night sky and actually seeing stars? Now it's just gonna be a bunch of corporate billboards whizzing by.
The Illusion of Progress
SpaceX is patting themselves on the back for "connecting the world." Give me a break. It's about domination, pure and simple. Control of the internet from space. And we're all just supposed to cheer them on?
This booster, B1092, has flown eight times already. Eight! It's like these rockets are just space taxis now. No big deal. Just another routine trip to pollute the cosmos. They landed it on "A Shortfall of Gravitas," which, let's be honest, is the most unintentionally hilarious name for a drone ship ever. The 132nd landing on that vessel, and the 533rd booster landing for SpaceX overall. They're practically printing these things. At what point does it stop being impressive and start being terrifying?
And ULA launched their Atlas 5, too. Offcourse, they had to fix a faulty valve first. A faulty valve! These are rockets, people, not lawnmowers. ULA launches ViaSat-3 following valve replacement on Atlas 5 rocket – Spaceflight Now These are rockets, people, not lawnmowers.
Speaking of lawnmowers, my neighbor's been running his at 7 AM every Saturday for the last six months. I swear, if I have to hear that thing one more time... Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah, the impending satellite apocalypse.
Is Anyone Actually in Charge Here?
The Space Force's 45th Weather Squadron predicted "greater-than-95% chance of 'go for launch' weather." Ninety-five percent? What kind of accuracy is that? And they downplayed the solar activity risk after some initial worries. So, we're just trusting them now? The same people who probably can't even predict whether it's gonna rain next Tuesday?
Viasat launched their satellite to provide more internet capacity. More capacity for what? More cat videos? More conspiracy theories? More AI-generated garbage flooding the web? I'm not convinced this is actually making our lives better.
The Inevitable Conclusion
So, we're hurtling towards a future where the night sky is unrecognizable, dominated by corporate satellites and space debris. And for what? Faster internet? More convenient shopping? Is that really worth sacrificing the beauty of the universe? Or maybe, just maybe, I'm turning into a grumpy old man yelling at clouds. But honestly, I don't think so.